Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could answer some question for me? My mother was a waitress all her life and six years ago she could no longer work because of her hip "Basically her hip bone has gone through the socket and she cannot walk father that ten yards without having to stop and rest. She has been diagnosed neuropathy and even though she wont tell us she is severally depressed. There is a long depressing story that goes along with her depression and if you do not want to read it and respond I understand. It all started seven years ago when her oldest son got sick he was in his early thirties "mildly retarded and didn't leave the house since he was sixteen. They had a bond that at times some of her other sons would be jealous but none of that matters. He was in the hospital after heart failure for almost 18 months being ship back and forth from intensive care to a facility "old folks home where he could constantly taken care of" After he started getting healthy he was sent back to the home and he was constantly medicated with strong drugs Oxycontin and many other pain killers. One day during rehabilitation learning to how to walk again they dropped him and he was hurt bad. So our mom decided that if he was going to die she was going to take care of him and make sure that he was home with his family after three months of fighting the senior home he was place at and the doctors that work there they finally sent him home. We had to call the fire department to get him inside the house because he still weighed over 200 pounds after losing almost 400 pounds."We were told that he was either between 500 to possible 700 pounds.
As soon as he got home our mother was determined to not let him die. And after a month or two there was a big improvement inm his health I don't know if was not taking pain killers and some other meds she refused to give him or he just needed to be back with our mom. I don't know if their bond could be that close but the only way we can describe it as a miracle.
Our mom keep working as a waitress sometimes double shifts to pay for all the stuff she needed to take care of our brother and come home and take care of him they would give her a thirty minute brake and she would run home and check and see if he was okay. Change his bedding or anything else he needed since he was bed ridden and couldn't even feed himself.
I was still in school and dropped out for I could help. But she insisted to take care of him herself, We were not sure why maybe guilt or love but she fought and mad sure that he would never give up. With her working so much and taking care of him her body gave out she was 55 and didn't know how to do anything but waitress.And was scared that they would take my brother back to the home. Luckily she found a way to be his caretaker but it only paid 500 a month so all the brothers had to help pay the bills there is three of us. Unfortunately we couldn't help enough and she lost her house. "The bank took it away and she had to find somewhere for them to live she tried to stay in a motels but they wouldn't let her put in his hospital bed his hoyer lift and other things she needed to take care of him. She asked multiple places to help and even offered to sleep on the floor if they would let her put in his bed and take all the other furniture out. But had no luck finally she got in subsidized housing but still struggled to take care of him with only making 500 hundred a month.
And the story goes so on and so on emergency trips to the hospital for my brother the medics were at her apartment a couple times a year. But she wouldn't give him back. But over time her hip has gotten worse with her nuerothapy has gotten worse and worse as time goes buy where she cant sleep more than a hour at a time. She has had this problem for so long that now after all the time she couldnt sleep now even when her feet and legs don't hurt which is rarely she still cant sleep.
She applied for disability benefits because our brother is still dieing just slowly and she can no longer work. She has gained weight her hip socket is gone and she is in consent pain. We try to help all we can but after almost eight years pf helping her take care of him we are all burned out and I cant imagine how she feels. Ever time she wakes up she limps into his room to make sure he is still alive sometimes she brakes down and calls us to come and check when he doesn't answer when she knocks on the door. There have been times that she has been so hysterical that we start thinking that she might have to go to the hospital.
And over the last year things have gotten worse her blood pressure and heart rate has rising substantially were we are now worried about her having a stroke.
ABOUT her claim and the things that have happened with her disability claim.
She filed for disability in October 2012 and her case has been in limbo since. She never had time to call and check the status of her claim because she trusted them and believed they would contact her with a phone call or letter. People told her that it would take years to get approved so she waited patiently I ask her about it on my birthday and found out that she hasn't had any contact from them so I asked her to call and when she did they told her that she was denied and a letter was mailed to her. "WHICH SHE NEVER RECEIVED" So as far as I can tell she went 19 months believing that the government would possible help her. "SHE EVEN SAYS THAT SHE CALLED IN 2013 AND THEY TOLD HER THAT IT WAS STILL PENDING!!" So I am lost and have no clue what we can do she reapplied in April and got a another denial sometime in September and since then she has broke down and lost all hope. She believed that she has a serious disability and cannot work anymore and at least the GOVERNMENT WOULD CONTACT HER PROPERLY SO SHE COULD APPEAL 13 MONTHS AGO, And by now everything would be worked out. We are currently lost at the moment not only have we worried about our brother dieing for year and years now we have to worry about our mom dieing as well.
We were just hoping that maybe something would go right and she could get Disability Benefits but the wait and their FAILURE to contact her has taken away what health and sanity she had left. We don't know what happened but we do know that she did everything they asked for the first time she applied in October 2012...But when her case got rejected they sent two letters and she got them both at the same time. IF THEY SEND OUT TWO LETTERS WHY DIDN'T SHE GET AT LEAST ONE OF THEM THE FIRST TIME SHE WAS DENIED??
So here we are a sick brother on his deathbed and a mom who we love more than anything about to join him. My biggest fear is that she will die before him and he will have to take the fact that mom bringing him home is most likely what started her health going down hill. I know for a fact if she dies he will die in less than a couple of weeks after she is gone. I plan on burying them together.
Or hopefully she can get approved and not worry about taking care of him and getting paid just for she can use every last cent taking care of him. We wish she could get approved for they could both be at peace and hoping that the stress that goes with her denial will help her health improve. Hopefully at least her mental health not worry about getting a check and wondering what happened believing that she is being lied to.
BUT ENOUGH...Of the pity party that is most of her story and what she has been going through does anyone have any advice I can help her with and what we need to do next. And I hope other people never has to go through things like this. And I know there are people out there that would trade us for all the pain they had to go through.
THANKS FOR READING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED